Kenny Speaks, KickAss!

SEASON ONE kiss my mmph

LEGEND
Text Colors = Cartman ~ Stan ~ Kyle ~ Kenny ~ Butters ~ Others ~

NOTE: The following translations were obtained by listening to my "Special Recordings"

Cartman Gets An Anal Probe - #101 e001

This from a recent RERUN.
I hear "maybe" and "touch" but rest is difficult. Listen for yourself.

[ Wendy gives Stan a note and he tells the scamps what it said. ]
"Holy crap! It says she wants to meet me at Stark's Pond after school."
"Whoa! Maybe you can kiss her."
"Or slip her the tongue."
"Maybe you can touch her pussy!"
"What? How do you know she has a cat?"

Insinuation: something about a pussy-cat
My Way ==>
Other Guess: "Or else you can touch hella sweet, black pussy."

Volcano - #103 e002

"Man, it smells like dead fish here."
" ?~ I know ~? it's just like grandma!"
"Oh man thats nasty."

Weight Gain 4000 - #102 e003

[ at school cafeteria ]
"Of course, Kathie Lee is a beautiful sultry queen of sexual fantasy. And if I sing to her, maybe I can lure her into a night of exotic delectation.
"Yeah, that'ld be cool."
"How big's your penis, Chef?"
"Well, three times bigger than Frank Gifford's, anyway."

[ at the bus stop - fatass walks up ]
"Hey dudes."
"What the hell is wrong with you, Cartman! Haven't you noticed the three feet of snow on the ground?"
"Shut up. I have a nice body and I want to show it off, you got that?"
"What? You've got to weight 90 pounds."
"I'm up to 94, thank you very much."
"They're the biggest breasts that I've seen."
"Yeah, they're almost as big as his mom's.

[ Mr. G. shots at Kathie Lee but hits Kenny instead ]
"Oh my!"
"Huh, Ohmigod, they killed Kenny! You bastard!

Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride - #104 e004

"He's just confused."
I think the other dog's the one that is confused.
"Yeah, he's confused."
"Sick, shut up dude!"

No way dude, my mom says God hates gay people. That's why he smote those sodomies in France.
"We oughta just let them shove a stick in their ass!"
I know, Mr. Garrison said that homosexuals are evil, but Sparky doesn't seem evil.

"Sparky, bad dog!"
"Damn dogs, they're screwing!"
"What?!?!"
"Yeah dude, I think your dog is gay!"

An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig - #105 e005

"No it's not cool! My mom won't let me keep him in the house. She says he's too big, and that his poop is bigger than our couch."
"That's why my mom got me a pot-bellied pig. Cause its poop is small."
"Don't say yes, I talked to Garrison and so many tell me its the same."
"Well yeah, but pigs aren't smart like elephants."

Death - #106 e006

Huge "THANKS!" goes out to Kennydied from Italy for translating this instantaneously.

[ in classroom ]
"Now, as I was saying, the reason that parents of South Park are so upset is because… Yes Kenny, what is it?"
"I have to go poo."
"I thought you just came from the bathroom."
"I did, I gotta go again!"

Loud farting sounds and obvious explosive diarrhea is heard coming from behind door then Kenny exits.
"Whoa, smells like you slaughtered a cow in there Kenny!"

Two times later Kenny rushes to bathroom.
"OhmiGod!"

[ Death comes after them ]
"Dammit! You know, I think that if parents would spend less time worrying about what their kids watch on TV,and more time worrying about what's going in in their kid's lives,this world would be a much better place."
"Yeah, I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter, and the sole educator of their kids.
:- what Kenny says here is jibberish, according to the February 28, 2002 FAQs @SPS )~
Eventhough they said that, other Sites still have something like the following....
"You know what I think, basically, if you let the decision of what you watch stop at the parents' control, then what can you see? It'll stay the same because they'll just get offended because the kids are not delighted with the television shows they put on for their kids."
"Totally dude."
"Good point,man."

[ Death touches Kenny ]
"Ugh!"
"Ohmigod, they killed Kenny! You bastard!"
"Wow, I guess Death was just coming after Kenny the whole time."
{ a rat runs up and drags Kenny's body away }

Pink Eye - #107 e007

[ after Kenny comes back from grave he growls two words ]
"Kick Ass!"

Jay Leno Show - Skit

Check out his chin.
Yeah dude!
"It looks like ?~ Sigmund Freud's head ~?."
Kenny wants to know if thats your real chin or if you had a silicon implant.

Starvin' Marvin - #109 e008

[ right after Cartman calls Stan a vas deferans, Kenny explains ]
"Yeah, when she starts licking a pussy."

Mr Hankey, The Christmas Poo - #110 e009

[ this is Kenny-Angel from the play ]
"Joyous dreams ahead of us." [ Kyle tells the town about Mr Hankey ]
"Don't mind him he's a very disturbed little boy."
"Kyle's nasty!"

[ after Kyle shows them Mr Hankey]
"What is this? Some kind of jewish tradition?"
"That's just the sickest thing I've ever fucking seen."

Damien - #108 e010

Hey New Kid, Kenny says he saw your Mom drop you off this morning and she's a real dog.
"Yeah she acts like a fucking bitch."

Tom's Rhinoplasty - #111 e011

"She's so pretty."
"Yeah, I'd like to give her a piece of meat."
( remember how Kenny laughed so hard about giving her the sausage gift )

"That's ok. You know what they say about women with one arm longer than the other?"
"Yeah, they totally turn on like Ren & Stimpy."
( this was at the time of Ren & Stimpy creator says Matt & Trey stole his "talking poo" idea with Mr. Hankey )
Other Guesses: "Yeah, they totally kick ass at spanking!"
"Yeah, they can always finger their pussy"."

"Down by the fire?"
"Yep!"
"Did you stick it in by yourself or didn't you have time?
"Did I what?"

Mecha-Streisand - #112 e012

"I have a button we can use for his nose."
"Yeah maybe we'll raise money speaking to ?~ Parent Group ~?."
"What will we use a marble sack for?"

Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut - #113 e013

"The bus will be here any minute and Cartman didn't show up for school."
"Yeah, this is the third day in a row. I wonder whats wrong."
"No sense of security to see my dick."

"Dude this is pretty fucked up right here."
"I think its the most fucked up I have ever seen?"
"Come on lets go make fun of him."
"No dude, this looks really serious. I think we better get help."

[ these 3 are from the go-kart scene ]

"HOLD ON KENNY!"
"Aaah shit, motherfucker!"
"Aaah, aaah, that was my back!"
"Fuckin' A!"

[ then when go-kart stops ]
"Nah, I ain't killed yet."

[ and right before train ]
"I'll fight this...."

~ Kickass! Shop of South Park ~